My Menstrual Journey Part 1: From Girl to Woman
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to start my period.
When I started secondary school, I’d listen with fascination as my friends spoke about their periods. We were only 11 and 12, but it felt like I was the only one who hadn’t started, and I wanted to be part of this mystical club. I’d ask questions all the time: what does having a period feel like? Do periods hurt? How much would I bleed? Every time I felt the tiniest twinge in my belly or the slightest hint of sweat between my legs, I’d run to the toilet expecting to see blood. And, every time, I was disappointed. By the time I turned 14, I’d pretty much forgotten about that excitement, so when I woke up one morning, went to the toilet and saw blood, it was a little shock.
It all felt so normal. There wasn’t a feeling of initiation, I had no period pains, or anything in fact. I told my mum and she congratulated me, as did my aunt. That was my Menarche experience and from then on, I was a menstruating girl. I honestly don’t even remember telling my friends I’d started, because it was all exactly like it had been before. And I knew nothing about periods or the details of my cycle. Thanks to our very, very basic sex education classes, I only knew that I’d get a period once a month and I had to be careful if I even so much as thought about having sex, because I could get pregnant at any time. It was around Year 10 (aged 15) that I switched to tampons and I remember so vividly using one for the first time right before class. I’d taken one from a friend and had no idea what to do with it. I waddled out of the cubicle and sat throughout class in pain, with this tampon inserted only halfway into my body. It took me a while until I realised just how they were supposed to work.
The joys of going on the pill
Like a lot of girls, I went on the pill when I met my first ‘proper’ boyfriend at 16. It felt like an incredibly grown up thing to do, maybe even more of an initiation into womanhood than menstruation itself. I went to the doctor and came out with a prescription, and never looked back. I went on the pill, Cileste, and stayed on it for the next ten years. I didn’t know how the pill worked. I just knew that it stopped me from getting pregnant by tricking my body into thinking it already was. And the biggest plus was, that I could take the packs back to back and skip the withdrawal bleed - something I did most of the time. I felt lucky, too, because I had no side effects. Unlike so many women I heard and read about, I had no acne, weight gain, sore boobs, depression or upset stomach. I thought it was a good fit, but it wasn’t.
Pill problems
I did have one side effect though. A few years into taking Cileste, I started to get migraines as often as once a week. I had to take constant sick days from work and always, always carried paracetamol and ibuprofen with me, taking them together at the maximum daily dosage. I had no idea it could be because of the pill.
Every time I went to the doctor for a resupply, they’d take my blood pressure and weight and ask how I was. And every time, they’d give me a new prescription. But when I moved house and registered with a new doctor, he looked at me with concern and said I needed to stop immediately. I was a smoker, with a history of childhood migraines (something I couldn’t and still don’t remember). I’d even had MRI scans to check I didn’t have tumours. Apparently, the combined pill was dangerous for someone with my history and he advised I take time off to see if anything changed. So I did, and it did. For the first time in years, I went a week, two weeks, three weeks and then four without migraine. I felt really, really good - somehow brighter and more alert, but I was in a relationship and scared of getting pregnant, so I switched to Microgynon instead. The migraines stayed away, and because I had no other side effects either, I stayed on it even after the relationship ended. I only came off the pill when I left to travel in India, for reasons I can’t remember. But what I do remember, is that I felt great and told myself I definitely didn’t want to go back to putting chemicals into my body. And then I met my current partner, and went straight back on again. It didn’t last long, though. I knew, deep down that continuing to take hormonal contraception was playing big time with my health. Soon, the time would come to stop.